He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if only i could text you this smell
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
