my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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