her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
