just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
