i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
