Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
