It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
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it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
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I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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