I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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