He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
