Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
