He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
