But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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