you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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