what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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