her vagine was all disorganized.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
