I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
