Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
