Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
