just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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