dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize