the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
