What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
