He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We got so high we made milksteak
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
