When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize