We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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