I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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