God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
