3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Congratulations! We have a period
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
