ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
