he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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