Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
