His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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