Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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