Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
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just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
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Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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