I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
