dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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