her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize