evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
