I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
