i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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