"it" just moved
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
