Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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