I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
