After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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