The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
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I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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