I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Someone shit on the floor
she looked like the before picture.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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