How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
