REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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