I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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