Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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