Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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