my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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