Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize