I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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