it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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