This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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