Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
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Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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