Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize