you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
