That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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