During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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