She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
