Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
