Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
