i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
