i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
