She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
