your room smells of hookers.
And success
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Vodka?
Forever.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
