I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
only you would photoshop your dick
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
