it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
