Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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