I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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