I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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