that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
